


Make Way

by FootlessData507



Series: Tremendously Stupid Writing Club Prompts [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Humor, Out of Character, Sudden profanity and violence, aggressively stupid, weird prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-06 11:39:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11599884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FootlessData507/pseuds/FootlessData507
Summary: Professor Sprout leaves her greenhouse for the last time, making way for her old student, Neville Longbottom.





	Make Way

**Author's Note:**

> My writing club did a meeting about writing scenes where two characters reunite after a long time. Somehow this was the story that I wound up writing in the last twenty minutes of the meeting. Enjoy.

The mandrakes were wailing, and Neville couldn’t blame them. Professor Sprout was making a racket, stomping around the greenhouse, roughly setting down pots and banging watering cans, her “last adjustments” as she put them so Neville would have as smooth of a transition as possible. In fact, all the plants looked on edge. The darrafodilia was quivering, and all the burradishes but one had ducked under the soil.  
  
Neville scanned the plants and cleared his throat.  
  
“So…um...are you looking forward to your retirement?” he asked the dirt-streaked slattern currently watering the germaniums until they drowned.  
  
Professor Sprout barked a harsh laugh. “Retirement—ha!” She set down the watering can with a CLANG. “Is that what you’re calling it?”  
  
Neville wasn’t a complete, absolute, total braindead moronic idiot. He had picked up on the fact that his favorite Hogwarts teacher wasn’t absolutely happy to see him.  
  
“Okay, Pomona!” he snapped. “I’m not a Hogwarts student anymore—I’m an adult wizard so I don’t have to take that passive aggressive shit anymore! You got a problem with me?”  
  
A remaining burradish burrowed deep under the soil as Sprout whirled on her ex-student. “Yeah, I got a problem toad-boy!” she snarled. “You think I don’t know about your little talk with the headmaster? Calling me a demented mulch pile? You stabbed me in the back, you bastard! You stabbed me in the back, Longbottom!” She reached for the Prickly Spike Tree and broke off a foot-long spike that pulsed a violent shade of purple. “Maybe I should cut you up and see how you like it!”  
  
If she’d been expecting Neville to back down at this, she was disappointed. He stood tall, with squared shoulders and bared teeth. “You’ve had this job for 60 fucking years, you overripe compost turnip!” he screamed. “I couldn’t wait around anymore! Bitch, why don’t you just die and let the young people have a shot!”  
  
Pomona stepped towards Neville, still brandishing the spike.  
  
Neville glared at her. “Don’t fucking try it. Cut me and I will Cut. You. Down.” He raised his wand.  
  
On the other side of the lawn, Hagrid was whistling to himself while he dragged a deer’s dead carcass to a pile of other dead deer carcasses. Suddenly, he dropped the dead deer when green light exploded on the horizon, accompanied by the sound of shattering glass.


End file.
